Well my friends, the hour is drawing near. All over the country, brave men and women are preparing their legs and taints for this weekend’s Trans Iowa Gravel Race. With any luck, they’ll emerge victorious and come to mid-Missouri on May 2nd for a nice Cedar Cross recovery ride. Best of luck to you all.. even Don Daly.
But enough about that..let’s talk about what’s going down on May 2nd. I want to make sure everyone has an idea what’s waiting for them on the gravel roads and singletrack trails of Callaway County.
^^As you can see in the photo, the equestrian community hosted its annual “Fuck you Bob Jenkins” parade last weekend. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rate current trail damage somewhere between 9.5 and Why, just WHY?!?.
On a more positive note, there’s plenty of water in those hoof-holes if anyone needs a refill AND a messed up trail slows the roadies down.
There will be horseshit. There will be hike-a-bike. There will be baked potatoes.
In other news, this year’s National Anthem will be guitar-shredded by Jeff City native Andrew Laffoon, of the band Catastrophe. Andrew emailed us asking for the gig, and we’re happy to have him on board…especially after noticing the band’s logo:
Are you kidding me?!? It’s like a Cedar Cross logo and a Metal band logo “got together” and birthed this thing. Holy shit.
Did I mention someone is going home with a brand New Kuat Vagabond bike rack?
Kuat is a wonderful group of people, and they’ve sponsored this race since the beginning. Buying a bike-rack from anyone else is like riding horses on muddy singletrack…the only people who do it are assholes.
Let’s see, what else… Oh yeah, Capitol Plaza Hotel, (which is conveniently located super-close to the Start/finish line), has offered to give CCX riders a discounted room rate of $80 per night. Just mention that you’re involved with the race to get the discount. But do it quick, cuz there’s a car show in town on the same weekend.
^^You can thank Nick Smith for that one.
For those who rode the course in 2013, you probably remember a guy “somewhere” on the course who had a bbq grill, a water hose, and maybe a jar of something homemade. That man would be Nick Smith’s Dad, and he’ll be at it again this year. I’m not going to disclose his location, because it’s none of your damn business and I want you to be surprised when you get there.
Please, Shake his hand and tell him he’s awesome.
After everyone has ridden past his house, Nick’s dad is gonna move his bbq grill to the finish line with hotdogs and whatnot. Nick created a facbook event page called Cedar Cross Finish Line Party. Sign up so he knows how many weiners to buy.
The hotdogs will not be free-range, vegan, or free of antibiotics. Why? Because shutup, that’s why.
So in summary, for $30 you get a 113-ish mile monstercross ride, a chance to win a Kuat rack, gps links, cue sheets, on-course hotdogs and beer, a drop-station (with beer), cash payouts for the women, a kickass after-party, (with a DJ), within walking distance of a hotel, and all the baked potatoes you want.
Unlesss you’re a veteran, a DNF from last year, or you weigh over 250 pounds…in which case, you get it all for free.
I really don’t know how to make it any better, but suggestions are welcome. If you need anything, hit me up on the Facebook page or at firstname.lastname@example.org