The Return of Kayne

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kayne

Folks who raced the Cedar Cross in 2013 (hopefully) remember that we had Kayne Kirchner  kick off the race by playing the Star Spangled Banner.  Nothing says patriotism like a teenager shredding the guitar before riding 113 miles of gravel and singletrack…and then chugging beers and eating baked potatoes afterwards. I’m happy to say he’ll be back this year to do it again. If all goes well, Kayne will be freestyling some guitar jams before the National Anthem as well.

This weekend I’ll be out clearing trails, so watch facebook for trail updates. Remember, this year we’re using the full course so it WILL be harder than last year.

Speaking of hard…Holy shit the Tour of Hermann was totally badass!!!

 

 

 

One Month to Go, and Heavies Ride for FREE

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For those who don’t already know, the Boydsville loop was removed from last year’s course because it had been completely trampled by horses. This section of trail, while only a few miles long, is what makes tire/bike selection so important for this race. It also goes right past a handful of abandoned, dilapidated homes in the middle of the woods. It’s pretty kickass if you ask me

As of last weekend, the entire loop is cleared off and race ready. It’s in the best condition I’ve seen yet, so we’ve got plenty to be excited about.

 

Downhill straightaway

Downhill straightaway

In other news, I read a Facebook post today that absolutely pissed me off. I’m not going to elaborate much, other than to say it disgusts me when people condemn others based on their level of fitness. In that same vein, I want people to know that while the Cedar Cross is “a race”, our main goal here is to have a good time. It’s not about who’s the fastest or the fittest, it’s about getting together with like-minded people and riding our damn bikes.

These guys get it

These guys get it

I’m not going to lie, I LOVE seeing fast riders on raceday. It’d blow my mind to watch people like Dan Miller, Peat Henry, Jim Phillips or Emily Korsch sprint it out for first place.  But the real thrill for me is watching those last place finishers limp their way across the finish line. These are the people who thought they’d never make it; the ones who wanted to quit but didn’t.  It’s quite a feeling to hand that person a cold beer and watch them stare into the fire. Moments like those makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.

John Regions - Last place finisher for '13. A man to be celebrated.

John Regions – Last place finisher for ’13. A man to be celebrated.

But I’m straying from the point. This is an event I want everyone to attempt twice.  I’ve always made it known that folks who DNF’d in the previous year can race for free the following year, and this year I’d like to expand on that a bit.

Effective immediately, anyone wanting to race Cedar Cross who weighs 250+ pounds can race for free. On top of that, if you weigh 300 or more pounds, not only will I let you race for Free, I will personally run your SAG support. You will want for nothing. Water, GU…whatever; I don’t give a shit. I’ll ride right next to you all day. I’ll fix your flat tires, lube your chain and take pictures. You WILL have fun.

There’s no reason to miss out on this event. You think you’re too fat or out of shape to finish this race? Bullshit; I finished Dirty Kanza weighing 260 pounds. By cycling standards I’m fatter than the guy from LOST.

And if you don’t weigh 250 pounds and you still want to participate….it’s a frickin $20 race, man. Quit your crying. Raceday is in one month.

All Systems Are GO

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sloppy ass downtube

Well my friends, it would appear that all the pieces are moving into place. I’ve got all the permits ready to go, the insurance is paid for and… as far as I know, we aren’t breaking any laws this year. These are exciting times indeed.

Speaking of great times, Josh Schrock is putting on a fine gravel event this weekend. Looks to be  like a 25-mile fun ride with beer and music afterwards. I plan on being there after doing some trail work on Saturday. You should be there too. And check out the Frisco ride, it looks like a a good one too.

And never forget the 2 basic rules of gravel riding:

...as it is written in the book of Daly.

…as it is written in the book of Daly.

At present, I have no idea as to the condition of the singletrack portions of this year’s course. But there’s one thing I do know: we won’t be cutting out any of the singletrack this year. These are basically unmaintained, forgotten trails being used by deer and the occasional horse. I’ll do everything I can to weedeat, clear off the leaves and kick horseshit out of the way, but the course will not be changed. I feel like a lot of people got cheated out of the full experience last year, and that just makes me feel dirty.

Kate Geisen trains hard for Cedar Cross.

Kate Geisen trains hard for Cedar Cross.

There will be mud, there will be horseshit, and there will be dogs. There will also be kickass scenery, trails you never knew existed, a nuclear reactor and free beer and potatoes as the finish line. For $20, I don’t think you can do much better than that.

 

Support Missouri Gravel and Win Free Racing

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As we all know by now, The Show-Me State is literally packed with quality gravel roads. It doesn’t matter if you wanna ride 10 miles or 300 miles, there’s a way to make it happen. And fortunately for us, there are plenty of folks who want to make it happen.

Take for example, the L’Eroica Aux Arcs, which is happening this weekend. Dan Fuhrmann put this one together free of charge, so all you have to do is show up. If your significant other will let you out of the house this weekend, you should definitely be there.

TOH

The Tour of Hermann is put together by Jeff Yielding, who is best known for his ability to create excellent cyclocross courses and take selfies during Cardinals games. Click on that link and sign up; Jeff knows his shit and you’ll get what you pay for. I missed out last year and I still regret it, so don’t be a dumbass like me.

cropped-hairyhundredtitle

Hopefully by now everyone knows about the Hairy 100. Mr. Butthead Johnson organized this race last year and literally everyone I’ve spoken with said it was a solid event. The finisher’s glasses were totally badass as well. This one is held in Columbia, so there’s really no reason to miss out.

newogre8_med-2

And who can forget the Ogre, put on by Bonk Hard Racing. Any race whose mascot is a mythical beast with a green forehead-vagina has got to be worthwhile. I still have nightmares about the climb into Checkpoint 1. And seeing Dave Beattie’s reaction when the finisher’s glass slipped from his hand and exploded on the concrete….totally priceless.

He didn't even move his feet as they swept up the glass

He didn’t even move his feet as they swept up the glass

But why am I promoting other races on this website? I’m glad you asked. Mainly it’s because these are all great events IN MISSOURI that we should be supporting anyway. Secondly… Jeff, Dan, Josh and I have decided to give away free race entries to one another’s events. So right now, I’ve got 2 free passes to each of the OGRE, Tour of Hermann and the Hairy 100 to give away, however I please.

But how to choose the winner? I’ve never really wielded this kind of power before. Searching for inspiration, I decided to look thru some old Cedar Cross photos where I found these:

cowboy2 raine

Both of these pics really capture what Cedar Cross is all about: Good times, good friends and good scenery. I can’t remember the Cowboy’s name, but our friend in front of the nuclear reactor is Michael Raine Kauk, and he is today’s winner. Yyou can email me or post in the comments section regarding your free entry into one of these kickass Missouri gravel events.

And So It Begins

Well my friends, February is upon us and that means it’s time to ride gravel. Frozen boogers and beardscicles have taken the place of tanned skin and sunglasses. It’s time to get outside and freeze your ass off among friends. These are the miles that prepare us for the big dance.

Dave--I have no idea how he can see

Dave–He can’t see shit

I hope you’re having as much fun in this shitty weather as I am. I can honestly say this is the first year I’ve ever had trouble with my eyelashes trying to freeze together while riding.

Chuck..he can't see shit either

Chuck..he can’t see shit either

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of a scarf being frozen to your face. At least that’s what Chuck says. You should come ride with us tonight and see for yourself.

Night time Group rides will be happening every thursday night in the Weldon springs/HWY 94 area. I’ll be posting ride times/locations on the Team Virtus and Cedar Cross Facebook page.

All people of all skill/fitness levels are welcome to join us. Unless you’re a douchebag.

Oh, and don’t forget to register for Cedar Cross.

The Last Survivor

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While it is customary to celebrate the triumphs of those who finish first, it has long been my opinion that the last person to cross the finish line should be celebrated just as heartily, for this person has endured the most suffering. Monster Bicycle company feels the same way, and so Jim created this custom beer mug for the 2013 last place finisher.

Doesn't get much more legit than that!!

Doesn’t get much more legit than that!!

John Regions was the final Cedar Crosser to finish the  grueling 113+ mile course on Saturday evening. We put a beer in his hand, Jim gave him the finishers mug  let him stand next to the fire for a few minutes before we giving him the rest of his award….. the Sherpa Rack donated by Kuat Bike Racks.

A $400+ value, I might add

A $400+ value, I might add

John reacted exactly how we wanted; with extreme excitement and appreciation. I don’t think we could’ve picked someone more deserving and appreciative than John, so we’ll call this year’s “Last Survivor Award” a solid victory.

Looking back at this year’s race, I don’t know how things could’ve gone much better. Granted, I had to cut out the hardest part of singletrack and make the course a bit easier.. but the overall winners donated their $500 to Team Noah, the Sapling route’s winner was a new father, the fastest female was one of my all-time favorite people and our Last Survivor was someone who truly appreciated the award. How could anyone not be happy about that?

I hope everyone had as much fun as I did, and I totally think we should do this again next year. I’ll see you all at Dirty Kanza next month!

 

Classy Victory

Well my friends, raceday has come and gone. As far as I can tell, most people had a good time and everyone is still alive. The facebooks are exploding with quality photos and before long we’ll be reading race reports from cyclist bloggers. But before all of that happens, I thought you’d like to hear about a few of the truly awesome happenings you may have missed out on while you were riding the course.

I love seeing photos like this

I love seeing photos like this

As you hopefully already know, this year’s first place finisher was to be awarded with $500 cash. My hope was that a few hammerheads would tear one another’s legs off trying to win and give the rest of us a great show. What actually happened was much more satisfying than that.

Instead of turning on one another in the name of monetary gain, the 6 cyclists pictured below finished together and donated the $500 to the Team Noah Foundation.

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..And that’s just about the classiest thing they possibly could’ve done. I have enormous respect for these guys!!

The winner of the Cedar Sapling had to leave right after finishing the race, but we did manage to get his photo before he peeled out.

imageGuessing from his jersey, I’d say his $100 and swag bag can be dropped off at Walt’s bike shop sometime soon.

The fastest woman across the line was one of my favorite people, the silkiest of chromes and a model of true sportsmanship…Emily Korsch.

A fearsome competitor always humble in victory

….and the Cinderella story of the day happened at about mile 30 when Don Daly, (a 45 year old Singlespeeder), saw his dreams of victory turn to ashes….when his GEARED bike sheared a derailleur. We picked him up on the side of the road and gave him shit relentlessly…for about four hours.

He was a good sport about it, though

He was a good sport about it, though

I woke up on Sunday with a bit of a hangover, but was pleased to check my bank balance and see that we actually made some money off of the race this year:

As you can see, I'm totally in this for the money

                                         BOOYAH!!

I’ll get the results posted in the next week or so and once we get the details sorted out I’ll announce one more BIG winner from this year’s race. I truly hope you all had a good time, I know I did.

$500 to Overall Winner and $100 to Cedar Sapling Winner!!!

I told you I wouldn’t profit from this race and I’ll keep my word. The overall winner of this year’s course will receive $500 cash. Second place will receive a bottle of wine and a handshake. Race accordingly.

                                      Like the wind…..ride like the effing wind!!

I will, of course, need to see your gps link to make sure you rode the actual course. We can’t have anybody trying to cheat, ya know.

Built on a lie: Lance Armstrong has tainted his whole sport with his use of performance enhancing drugs

Come on.. you knew there would eventually be a Lance joke.

First place winner of the Cedar Sapling will take home $100, a bottle of wine and a small, but respectable swag bag. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Previous finishers of endurance gravel events are non-eligible for the Cedar Sapling’s 1st place cash prize. If you want to ride the short course, that’s fine…but sandbagging a beginner’s race is a dick move. Don’t do it.

The 4 dogs on South Millsite road. The white one is the asshole.

The 4 dogs on South Millsite road. The white one is the asshole.

In other news: It’s raining buckets out here and the creeks are on the rise. I have removed my favorite section of singletrack from the race because it’s basically a giant mudslide right now, with a little bit of horseshit thrown in for seasoning. All efforts will be made to insure that this course is FUN and difficult

And after all of that, if you’re still on the fence about this race… I don’t know what else I can offer. I’m headed to drop off swag bags. Watch this website and the Facebook page for potential updates throughout the day!!

 

Garmin Links!!!!

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Alright, here are the Garmin links.

Garmin Connect – Cedar Cross

Garmin Connect – Cedar Sapling

MapMyride.com – Cedar Sapling

I’m sad to report that one section of singletrack was so completely “horsed” that I’ve decided to remove it from the course. Total mileage is pretty close to the original, but the difficulty level is drastically reduced between miles 48-51.

I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but trust me… unless you’ve got a fat bike you don’t want to be on that trail right now.

An updated cue sheet will be posted later tonight and/or there will  be one included in your race packet.

Please remember it’s in your best interest to visit Red Wheel Bike Shop tomorrow, beginning at 10am to collect your swag bag and get your race number. There isnt enough free shit to make sure everyone gets something, so as they say…the early bird will get the worm.

On raceday, sign in will begin at 6:30, I’ll have a few announcements around 730, and then Kayne will play the Star Spangled Banner at 745.

The race begins with a neutral, escorted rollout at 8am.

Any questions can be posted in the comments section or emailed to me at bobjenkins@team-virtus.com. Or wtf…hit me up on the Facebooks.

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